November 2020
The 1st.
Happy first day of November? I don’t know why, but I feel extremely optimistic about this new month. Against all reasonable reasons not to be, I feel a kind of homecoming, back to myself.
The 3rd.
Election day. What a strange year this has been/is/maybe will always be. I’m happy to be sitting by the fire in my armchair, writing. Cup of coffee in hand. I’ve withdrawn myself from public life a bit, of late. I think that’s healthy, from time to time. I needed to reset a bit. I feel like I’ve done that am ready to re-integrate it in my life in a more intentional way.
The 5th.
I’m happy to have some good/fulfilling projects to work on while all this election stuff is happening. I got so absorbed in that yesterday, but I’d rather spend my time and energy differently today.
The 6th.
Agh, this week has been really challenging for focusing. I’ve done it during a few times specifically set aside for work projects, but I’ve really struggled the rest of the time.
And that’s okay. This is a challenging week for everyone. And now I can sit by the fire and write and take a minute to feel everything. Not that what I’m feeling is all too enjoyable, having spent much of my day (and yesterday, and the day before) in catatonic scrolling. My eyes are heavy, I feel pre-illness vibes, my mind is darting all over, and all over. But letting myself feel all that discomfort is the beginning of turning it around. It does make me want to keep distracting myself though.